TED* Thoughts

Yesterday Christians around the world celebrated the birth of an awesome Creator named Jesus of Nazareth.  For millennia other cultures and faiths have had traditions and some sort of recognition and celebration of the “return of the light” (at least here in the Northern Hemisphere).

In the cycle of the seasons, from fall through winter darkness has reached its zenith and now the light has begun its ascent toward spring and summer.

Creation – and creating – occurs in all seasons.  In fact, creating draws from both the darkness and the light.

This recognition came to mind this morning during our “quiet time” and after reading the morning paper, which contained an article on the movie writer-director, Cameron Crowe.  Writer Jake Coyle asked Crowe about the source of his positivity toward life – including the experiences of times of darkness.

His reply was that of a Creator clearly taking a Creator Orientation toward life:

“It’s innate and a goal… to battle back the daily hurdles or the challenges and just say, ‘How can I turn this into a positive?’ It’s interesting how sometimes positivity is the door that opens to a greater understanding of how to deal with the darkness.”

We all experience seasons of darkness – it is part of the human experience and the natural order of Creation.  However, rather than succumbing and adopting the role of Victim and reacting to them as Persecutors, we can choose to unlock “the door to a greater understanding of how to deal with the darkness,” by responding to such experiences as Challengers that call forth learning and growth and resourcefulness.

That is what it means to grow through the darkness and into the light.

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“TED* Thoughts” is published weekly (at least most of the time). It is intended to offer reflections and applications of The Power of TED* in order help facilitate a shift in worldview and relationship dynamics from the Karpman Drama Triangle (or what Ted calls the Dreaded Drama Triangle [DDT] ™) to TED* (* The Empowerment Dynamic) ™.  

Please help spread TED* through sharing this “TED* Thoughts” and by contributing your own thoughts by posting a comment.

To the Creator in you!

Years ago I had the privilege of serving on the board of trustees of my church.  Like a lot of spiritual communities, each year we would adopt a theme to guide our worship and activities.  Recently I came across an old sweatshirt with one of those themes:

“Participants in Creation: Committed to Spirit and Service.”

Not bystanders.  Not spectators.  Participants.

Every thought, every word, every deed is an act of creating – and creation. 

Even reacting is creating.  If we are reacting to what we don’t like or don’t want, we are reinforcing the Victim Orientation.  In so doing, we are quite likely creating, perpetuating or engaging the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT)™ (aka the Karpman Drama Triangle).  Whether Victim, Persecutor or Rescuer, we are participants in creating more drama in the world.

By adopting a Creator Orientation and focusing on what we want to create and how we choose to respond to our life experiences, we are participants in conscious living – and encourage others to do the same through our thoughts, words and actions.  As a Creator, Challenger and Coach, we lift our relationships to a more resourceful reality by engaging and participating in TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) ™.

As we go through our week, let’s pause every few hours and ask ourselves: what am I participating in creating?

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“TED* Thoughts” is published weekly (at least most of the time). It is intended to offer reflections and applications of The Power of TED* in order help facilitate a shift in worldview and relationship dynamics from the Karpman Drama Triangle (or what Ted calls the Dreaded Drama Triangle [DDT]™) to TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)™.  

Please help spread TED* through sharing this “TED* Thoughts” and by contributing your own thoughts by posting a comment.

To the Creator in you!

“The moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too.  All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.  A whole stream of events issues from the decision which no one could have dreamed would have come their way”

-          W.H. Murray

This often cited quote began the November 20^th reading in Mark Nepo’s The Book of Awakening, from which my wife and I read virtually every morning. Nepo went on to write:

“We’d all like a guarantee before making a decision or taking a risk, but the irony is that taking the risk is what opens up to our fate.  It’s like wanting to know what the things will taste like before putting them in your mouth.  It just can’t be figured out that way.”

As a Creator, we often do not know – especially at the beginning of the creating process – if what we want to create is even, in fact, possible.  I often cite the Wright Brothers (having grown up near Dayton, Ohio) as two individuals who had a passionately held vision of heavier-than-air human flight.  They held to this vision, even through failures and breakthroughs, as well as in the face of the best scientific and engineering minds of the day that were telling them that what they envisioned “defied the laws of physics.”

Next month (December 17^th) we celebrate the 108^th anniversary of their breakthrough first sustained flight.

They took great risks in pursuing this “hobby” of theirs and continued to draw on their passion which fueled the heart of their creating.  They were committed, but far from assured of success.

In fact, in an interview of Orville Wright, long after their success, a reporter asked what he and his brother were really after in their experimentation.  “Was it fame? Was it fortune?” he asked.

I’ve always loved Orville’s response: “Sir, if what my brother and I were after was either fame or fortune, we would have chosen a project with a much higher probability of success.”

Creating is not risk-free.  There may be setbacks and there may be seeming failures.  But, as Creators, we learn from them.  And we never know when the next Baby Step will, indeed, give us flight!

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“TED* Thoughts” is published weekly (at least most of the time). It is intended to offer reflections and applications of The Power of TED* in order help facilitate a shift in worldview and relationship dynamics from the Karpman Drama Triangle (or what Ted calls the Dreaded Drama Triangle [DDT] ™) to TED* (* The Empowerment Dynamic) ™.  

Please help spread TED* through sharing this “TED* Thoughts” and by contributing your own thoughts by posting a comment.

To the Creator in you!

I admit it.  I am a member of the behemoth Costco Wholesale Club, which can be found everywhere around the Pacific Northwest of the U.S.   

This month’s “Costco Connection” has a feature article on business guru Jim Collins newest book, Great by Choice: Uncertainty, Chaos and Luck –Why Some Thrive Despite Them All.  While I have not yet read the book, I was taken by the following statement by Collins in the magazine’s interview:

“I don’t have any more emotion about [uncertainty] than I do about gravity…  Gravity just is.  I don’t wake up in the morning afraid of gravity. You’ve got to learn how to live with gravity; you’ve got to learn to live with uncertainty. The beauty of it all is, you can. Successfully, and in very practical ways.”

Uncertainty is undoubtedly a part of the human experience.  As much as we try and control and contain variables; seek “safe” investments (be it time, money or relationships); or count on transportation running on time, there is always going to be some level of uncertainty.

Victims and Creators have distinct ways of relating to uncertainly.  Victims see uncertainly as a problem to react to or to try and solve, experiencing it as a type of Persecutor.  Creators, on the other hand, factor uncertainly in as part of the creating process.  They focus on the outcome they want to create, tap into their passion for that outcome, and take action to move forward even in the face of uncertainty.

One of the best modern era examples of two Creators moving forward in the face of uncertainty were the Wright Brothers with their passionately held vision of heavier-than-air powered flight.

(Those who know me well are aware that I grew up in Dayton, Ohio where the Wright Brothers conducted most of their experiments.  I have been fascinated by them as examples of Creators not knowing if what they wanted to create was possible, while remaining committed to the vision’s possibility.)

When asked by a reporter if the brothers were after fame or fortune, Orville responded, “If we had been thing of making money, we would have tried to invent something where the chances of success were brighter.”

In other words, they would have placed more emphasis on certainty of success.  Instead, they were driven by a passionately held dream which, to me, is the hallmark of living life as a Creator.

Creators “learn to live with uncertainly,” while moving forward in the process of creating outcomes.

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“TED* Thoughts” is published weekly (at least most of the time). It is intended to offer reflections and applications of The Power of TED* in order help facilitate a shift in worldview and relationship dynamics from the Karpman Drama Triangle (or what Ted calls the Dreaded Drama Triangle [DDT] ™) to TED* (* The Empowerment Dynamic) ™.  

Please help spread TED* through sharing this “TED* Thoughts” and by contributing your own thoughts by posting a comment.

To the Creator in you!

I am more convinced than ever that drama is an inescapable part of the human experience.  There are always going to be times in which we encounter people, conditions or circumstances that can easily trigger and propel you into the Karpman Drama Triangle (or what we call the Dreaded Drama Triangle [DDT] ™) – and its roles of Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer.

The good news is that, when you do find yourself in such situations, you can develop your capacity to shift from reacting to choosing.

As you seek to make the shift between from the reactive Victim Orientation to a more empowering and resourceful Creator Orientation, however, you will frustrate yourself if you expect that you are going to always (and in every situation) be successful. 

The way of forward progress is not an easy climb of continuous forward progress.  Oh, I wish that it were so!  Instead, it is a combination of steps forward – and even breakthroughs at times – and missteps that seem to impede your progress.

Living more fully and consistently as a Creator and cultivating your capacity to embody TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) roles of Creator, Challenger and Coach in our relationships, is a process in which you will be engaged for the rest of your life.

My suggestion is to measure your forward progress through the practice of “Catch and Choose.”  When you experience some sort of misstep – unconsciously reacting to problems; feeling like a victim; attempting to fix and rescue another; trying to control a person or a situation – that is the time to “Catch and Choose.” 

The key is to “catch” yourself by becoming aware of being in a reactive state or role and to then shift your focus and “choose” a more resourceful response or role.  Ask yourself “What do I want to create in this situation?” Rather than rescuing, be of service as a coach.  Instead of controlling, perhaps take a stand for what you want and adopt the role of a Conscious Constructive Challenger.

For me, the measure of forward progress is based on “catching” myself more quickly (i.e. spending less time in a reactive space or role) and “choosing” sooner, more consciously and more effectively.

By practicing the process of “catch and choose,” you will find yourself spending more time in TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic).

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“TED* Thoughts” is published weekly (at least most of the time). It is intended to offer reflections and applications of The Power of TED* in order help facilitate a shift in worldview and relationship dynamics from the Karpman Drama Triangle (or what Ted calls the Dreaded Drama Triangle [DDT] ™) to TED* (* The Empowerment Dynamic) ™.  

Please help spread TED* through sharing this “TED* Thoughts” and by contributing your own thoughts by posting a comment.

To the Creator in you!