TED* Thoughts

I am more convinced than ever that drama is an inescapable part of the human experience.  There are always going to be times in which we encounter people, conditions or circumstances that can easily trigger and propel you into the Karpman Drama Triangle (or what we call the Dreaded Drama Triangle [DDT] ™) – and its roles of Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer.

The good news is that, when you do find yourself in such situations, you can develop your capacity to shift from reacting to choosing.

As you seek to make the shift between from the reactive Victim Orientation to a more empowering and resourceful Creator Orientation, however, you will frustrate yourself if you expect that you are going to always (and in every situation) be successful. 

The way of forward progress is not an easy climb of continuous forward progress.  Oh, I wish that it were so!  Instead, it is a combination of steps forward – and even breakthroughs at times – and missteps that seem to impede your progress.

Living more fully and consistently as a Creator and cultivating your capacity to embody TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) roles of Creator, Challenger and Coach in our relationships, is a process in which you will be engaged for the rest of your life.

My suggestion is to measure your forward progress through the practice of “Catch and Choose.”  When you experience some sort of misstep – unconsciously reacting to problems; feeling like a victim; attempting to fix and rescue another; trying to control a person or a situation – that is the time to “Catch and Choose.” 

The key is to “catch” yourself by becoming aware of being in a reactive state or role and to then shift your focus and “choose” a more resourceful response or role.  Ask yourself “What do I want to create in this situation?” Rather than rescuing, be of service as a coach.  Instead of controlling, perhaps take a stand for what you want and adopt the role of a Conscious Constructive Challenger.

For me, the measure of forward progress is based on “catching” myself more quickly (i.e. spending less time in a reactive space or role) and “choosing” sooner, more consciously and more effectively.

By practicing the process of “catch and choose,” you will find yourself spending more time in TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic).

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“TED* Thoughts” is published weekly (at least most of the time). It is intended to offer reflections and applications of The Power of TED* in order help facilitate a shift in worldview and relationship dynamics from the Karpman Drama Triangle (or what Ted calls the Dreaded Drama Triangle [DDT] ™) to TED* (* The Empowerment Dynamic) ™.  

Please help spread TED* through sharing this “TED* Thoughts” and by contributing your own thoughts by posting a comment.

To the Creator in you!

“You can’t do this work without doing this work.” 

This is a major mantra of the TED* Practitioner Program.  For those of us who desire to serve others by applying the frameworks and processes available through TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) ™, it is important to apply them – first and foremost – to our own work and lives. 

Whether serving as a Co-Creator, Challenger or Coach, this work is not something to “do to” others.  We cannot make “shift happen” in others.  If we are able to see the other as a Creator in their own right, we know that the power and responsibility for change stays with them.

What we can do – and the work that is ours to do – is to model for others how we make shift happen in our own lives as we grow beyond the drama roles of Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer.  That is how we “do this work.”  By doing our own work of living empowered lives, we invite, model, and support others in doing what is theirs to do.

This past week, we welcomed the third cohort of TED* Practitioners to Bainbridge Island.  They came from as far away as Australia. Their ages ranged from mid-20s to early-70s.  They are therapists, coaches, educators, business people, entrepreneurs, public leaders – all committed to more fully understanding the “complexity behind the simplicity” of TED* and applying it in their lives.

Look for their names, faces and areas of service soon on the TED* Practitioner page of our website.  In the meantime, keep doing the work that is yours to do!

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“TED* Thoughts” is published weekly [at least most of the time]. It is intended to offer reflections and applications of The Power of TED* in order help facilitate a shift in worldview and relationship dynamics from the Drama Triangle [or the Dreaded Drama Triangle] to The Empowerment Dynamic [TED*].  Please help spread TED* by sharing this “TED* Thoughts” and by contributing your own thoughts by posting a comment.

To the Creator in you!

One of the realities of the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) is that we ALL play the roles of Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer.  When a drama gets engaged, often the “players” switch roles – sometimes at a dizzying pace.  As one workshop participant lamented, “I was in a meeting yesterday and I played all three roles!”

I great workplace illustration of this principle is contained in a 4-minute YouTube video, entitled “Stop the Drama and Do the Work,” by Edward Muzio of Group Harmonics. 

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“TED* Thoughts” is published three times a week [at least most of the time]. It is intended to offer reflections and applications of The Power of TED* in order help facilitate a shift in worldview and relationship dynamics from the Drama Triangle [or the Dreaded Drama Triangle] to The Empowerment Dynamic [TED*].  Please help spread TED* by sharing this “TED* Thoughts” and by contributing your own thoughts by posting a comment.

To the Creator in you!