Another great TED Talk video hit my inbox yesterday (that is Technology, Entertainment and Design – the “other TED”). This one is a TEDx Midwest presentation by William Ury of the Harvard Negotiation Project and author of a number of books related to negotiating.
The talk is entitled “The walk from ‘no’ to ‘yes,” and his focus is really on his thoughts in answer to this provocative question: “How do we deal with our differences… given the human propensity for conflict?”
As you can guess, his answer is not to engage in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) of reaction-begetting-reaction between Victims, Persecutors and Rescuers! While I strongly encourage everyone to listen to the whole 20-minute presentation (just click on the title of the TED Talk above), there are a few quotes I want to highlight that relate directly to TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic):
- We gain perspective and break out of the DDT by “going to the balcony in order to keep our eyes on the prize,” or, in TED* language, to keep our focus on the outcome we are wanting to create.
- One key process for bridging differences, he suggests, is to “go for a walk side-by-side,” which has you going in “the same common direction.” In words, choose to see those with whom you have differences as Co-Creators and walk together in dialogue to understand and begin to bridge those differences.
- “To change the game, change the frame.” This is what making shift happen between the Victim Orientation and Creator Orientation is all about!
So, check out the talk and learn more about his advice for dealing with differences, including the creative idea behind his project, The Abraham Path.