We all know what drama feels like. It’s a muddled mess of difficult energy stirring inside of us and usually entangled with someone else or a situation.
When we slip into this darker energy, it can be difficult to see any benefit of finding ourselves in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT)™ roles of Victim, Persecutor or Rescuer. Most people tell us they just want out of the triangle and to stop the toxic relationships.
Since we all learn the DDT roles early in a life as a way to deal with stress, anxiety and fear – they served a purpose. Now as adults, most of the time these roles do not serve us in living fully empowered and resourceful lives in the way that TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)™ and its roles of Creator, Challenger and Coach can.
However, the DDT roles are still important, at times, and we have found that – rather than wishing they would just “go away” – there can be both power and usefulness in making friends with them and to call on them when they serve us and those with whom we interact.
For example, when we feel powerless in a situation and notice that a Victim mentality is bubbling up, rather than resist it or tell yourself you shouldn’t feel this way, allow yourself to notice the situation. What triggered the feeling? What was the situation, person or condition? Is this a reoccurring pattern or a one-time event? What might this sense of victimization be “telling us?”
When we feel the Persecutor energy emerge it may be that we need to legitimately defend or protect ourselves or another. Like a mama bear protecting her cubs, we may need to rise and fend off a threat. What we are willing to fight for can tell us a lot about our deepest values.
When the Rescuer in us shows up, we also need to assess whether it is reactive in nature or in service to a higher good. David often uses as an example of walking along a beach and seeing someone in distress in the water. That is a time in which it would be perfectly appropriate to act as a Rescuer and to bring that person to safety.
You may have heard the adage that “what we resist, persists.” Recognizing the DDT roles and making friends with them rather than automatically wanting to shift away from them may enhance your ability as a Creator to select powerful choices.