This stuff takes persistence. That is the essence of the observation that David Dadian, long-time advocate and applier of TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) ™ shared in a phone conversation this week.
David has been an occasional contributor to “TED* Thoughts” and has been using TED* as CEO of his business, a loving parent of his autistic son (see his article on how TED* has contributed to his parenting), and most recently as an assistant coach of a high school hockey team.
He was recounting to me an interaction he was having that day with a friend and colleague who was experiencing the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) ™ in his life. His friend had read The Power of TED* previously, which David reminded him about, and served as a Challenger by reminding his that making the shift from Victim to Creator is a day-to-day practice. In challenging and supporting his friend, he told him that “even the author of the book has shared with me that he is daily challenged with staying focused as a Creator.”
So true. I am. The old adage that “we teach what we most need to learn” fits for me in this work. To paraphrase one of the Wright Brothers’ passionate statements about the possibility of flight:
“I don’t know if living consistently from a Creator Orientation is possible – but I am committed to its possibility.”
And that takes persistence and perseverance. Persistence is a daily discipline of a Creator. Persistence is defined as “the quality of continuing steadily despite problems or difficulties.”
The most persistence practice, as David declared in our conversation, is to ask: “What do I want?” (Or, in a group or relationship, “What do we want?”)
What do I/we want to create? How do I/we choose to respond to difficulties or problems that arise? When I find myself slipping back into complaining or the drama of life – into a Victim Orientation – what choice can I make so that “shift happens” into more empowering and resourceful responses?
Placing our focus on what we want to create or how we choose to respond – at home, at work, in all our relationships – is what it means to be persisting as a Creator. It is that simple – and not at all always easy.
Over time, that persistence does “pay off!”