Earlier today a client/friend asked how I had been doing – so I told him the truth (which was captured in last week’s 3 postings). As I shared with him the disappointment and setback that I experienced, he asked about how I handled the feeling of victimization that was part of the process.
His question caused me to further reflect on the week and the process I have pretty much moved through at this point.
There was the feeling a being “victimized” by my optimism getting ahead of current reality. We talked about one of the characteristics of being in the Victim role is that there is a dream or desire that has been. Forward progress on the envisioned outcome of the manuscript was definitely thwarted.
Thankfully, I was able to keep a perspective on allowing myself to acknowledge being in the Victim space and to allow myself to feel my feelings. I knew that – in the grand scheme of things – the victimization I was experiencing was/is temporary and not severe or life threatening.
What was healthy as a Creator early last week was that I did not deny or minimize how I was feeling – neither did I overly wallow. I was able to choose to experience the feelings that arose, rather than reacting from the old cultural conditioning that would have me “buck up and move on!”
In that sense, I had my experience of feeling victimized, rather than the experience having me.
Rather than reacting to the events from a Victim Orientation, I was able to move through the week from a Creator Orientation in which I paid attention to the “backward” baby steps , the feelings that arose, the learning at hand, and possible baby steps forward.
While I am still awaiting the stage of Illumination mentioned in Friday’s post, I am confident that I have weathered the storm and am now ready to keep on Percolating – and creating.