Being a Creator is not all “goodness and light.” We stress this reality in workshops all the time. There are times that creating outcomes and choosing our response to life experiences brings with it challenges and struggles (or that which we call Challengers). It is especially in those times that turning to someone, as a Coach, to help you clarify your vision or options can help you gain strength.

However, it is important that the help you seek is that of a Coach, which is a helping role in TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) ™, and not a Rescuer.

Recently, several TED* Practitioners shared the following story in a session they were conducting for their organization that illustrates this point:

The Man and a Butterfly

One day a man found the cocoon of a butterfly, with a small opening just starting to appear. So, he sat down to watch as the butterfly struggled for several hours to force its body through the hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared to the man that it had gotten as far as it could.

Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and the body would contract, so it could fly — but neither happened. Sadly, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It was never able to fly, or be a truly beautiful butterfly.

What the man in his well-meaning kindness and haste did not understand, was that the restricting cocoon, and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening, was nature’s way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly, into its wings, so that it would be ready for flight once it got out of the cocoon.

Sometimes, like the butterfly, the struggles we go through in life are necessary, although we usually don’t understand why. If we experienced life without any obstacles, it could hurt our growth. Then we would not be as strong as we should be — and it could keep us from soaring to the wonderful heights you and I are capable of.

Well-meaning Rescuers can actually thwart the growth of those they seek to fix or save. Coaches can help a Creator discern the learning and growth from those “unwanted” Challengers that arise as part of the human experience. As in the story, struggles can actually strengthen us as Creators.

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