What do you do when you are triggered by a person or an event and you “go reactive?” The situation could be a difficult discussion with someone at work; an argument with a spouse, significant other or child; an unexpected traffic jam. Life is full of opportunities to be triggered into reactivity and, hence, the …
Tag Archive: DDT
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Being Right Can Persecute Others
The role of the Persecutor in the Karpman Drama Triangle (Dreaded Drama Triangle™—DDT) puts others down by attempting to be “one up” in every conversation. Clinging to the need to be right is one of the fastest ways to persecute others. Because of the strong drive to succeed in our society, especially at work, we …
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Stop Comparing Yourself
One of the fastest ways to feel like a Victim is to compare yourself to others. We may say to ourselves: “Why can’t I look that beautiful or be that smart or talented?” Another thought might be: “Down deep, I really don’t know what I am doing but it seems like other people do.” Or, …
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Hit the Pause Button
A friend recently said to us, “I am learning to have fewer reactive conversations and more frequent creative conversations.” What simple advice! The question arises, when we go reactive, how do we shift to a creative conversation and embody the TED* roles of Creator, Challenger and Coach? We recommend hitting the pause button to lengthen …
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When Feeling Happy Causes Distress
An experience of happiness often arises when we live in the empowered TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)™ roles of Creator, Challenger and Coach. Feeling joy can actually be distressing for some of us because there is a tendency to feel we don’t deserve this much happiness. Modern living has created an expectation that we must always …
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Co-Workers: Problems or Creators?
How do you relate to your co-workers? Do you see many of them as problems to deal with or do you relate to them as Creators? How you answer these questions can have a great deal of impact on the satisfaction you have in your workplace, as well as on the quality of products and/or …
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The Drama in Politics
Here in the United States, the Democratic and Republican party conventions are over and the “silly season” of presidential election politics is in full swing. There is perhaps no better illustration of the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) ™ in action than in the posturing, positioning and pontificating that takes place in politics. The Victim is …
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I Care about Your Suffering
During a recent conference call with our TED* Practitioners, one made the comment that she dislikes interacting with Victims and sets strict boundaries to make sure she stays away from people who complain and/or wallow in their powerlessness. She said, “I have very little patience with people who play the victim role in the DDT …
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Celebrating Interdependence
Tomorrow (July 4th), in the United States, we celebrate Independence Day. The American Revolution and establishment of the idea of independence was a watershed movement for humanity. Up until that point in history, most cultures were deeply rooted in the paradigm of dependence in which “the masses” were dependent on kings, queens, dictators (benevolent or …
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