An Appreciation Practice to Help You Through the Holidays

It is Thanksgiving season here in the US. For many it is a favorite time of year to reflect on life and relationships with gratitude. The holiday season is also a time when family drama can be at its height. Personal, cultural and sometimes political differences can surface at family gatherings that can turn them […]

What IS a Creator?

When David first learned about the Karpman Drama Triangle many years ago, he knew he had lived much of his life from this point of view.   One day in quiet time he asked:  “Okay God.  I don’t want to live my life as a victim anymore, but I need to know – what is the […]

Locus of Control

Stuff happens.  Life happens.  There really is not much we can do about it, other than “roll with the punches.” Or can we do something about it? That question is at the heart of the concept of “locus of control.” Encarta, the online dictionary, defines locus as “a place where something happens.”  When it comes […]

TED* is Not Another Hammer

Here is one sure-fire way to be perceived by another as a Persecutor: just point out that they are being a Victim. It’s a proven way to engage the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT)™! This is a point we always make in TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) ™ workshops. It also came up in a conversation we […]

Strength from Struggle

Being a Creator is not all “goodness and light.” We stress this reality in workshops all the time. There are times that creating outcomes and choosing our response to life experiences brings with it challenges and struggles (or that which we call Challengers). It is especially in those times that turning to someone, as a […]

You Are Not the Voice Inside Your Head

I am sure you have noticed the constant voice chattering inside your head. As I write this essay my (Donna’s) voice sounds like this: “David is traveling so it is my turn to write this week’s essay. Why did I wait until the last minute? Sometimes I write better when I have a deadline. No […]

Rescuer as Counselor

We frequently write about the role of Rescuer in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT)™. We do this because the majority of people tell us they adopt rescuing behavior when they become engaged in reactive or drama-filled relationships. It makes sense that the Rescuing role is the most common role, since most people want to err […]

Striving for Comfort Causes Discomfort

Most of us have grown up in the Western world of plenty.   Let’s face it. We who live in the modern world are attached to creating a comfortable life—bigger homes, more love in our relationships, better jobs and on an on.   Striving to create constant comfort is the main goal. Once we believe we should […]

You Don’t Have to Attend Every Drama You Are Invited to

Last week, David had the opportunity to spend a morning with students of a private middle school in the Cleveland, Ohio area. He was invited by Chris Nagel who volunteers at the school and teaches principles from The Power of TED* to the junior high students.   In his professional work, Chris is Director of Serving […]

The Zen of Current Reality

A corporate executive (Jack Welch, former CEO of GE) once wrote: “What determines your destiny is not the hand you’re dealt; it’s how you play the hand. And the best way to play your hand is to face reality – see the world the way it is – and act accordingly.” (Emphasis added.) This statement […]

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