No Darkness, No Light

In the Northern hemisphere, we are approaching the winter Solstice. This is the shortest day of the year and signals the return of the light. The daylight is brief, paired with long dark nights. On our Northwest Island where we call home, we enjoy dense forests with large cedar and fir trees. While walking a […]

Problems are Like Glue

David remembers a time when he was working with an executive who had just been promoted to a leadership position.  Wanting to make a positive impact, the leader convened several meetings with his new direct reports to answer this question:  “What problems do we need to address?” The staff initially was not aware of a […]

Creator as Competitor

Last week was the Thanksgiving holiday in the U.S. Not only was it a time for expressions of gratitude, family gatherings and feasts of harvest foods, for some, it is a time for American football. Whatever your view of football, we were surprised when our local football team’s coach, Pete Carroll, appeared on the cover […]

“NO” is a Complete Sentence

Saying “yes” when you really mean “no” will insert you into the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT)™ about as fast as anything you can say or do. When we find ourselves in the DDT, both of us tend to default to the Rescuing role because our strategy to deal with insecurity or fear is to accommodate […]

An Appreciation Practice to Help You Through the Holidays

It is Thanksgiving season here in the US. For many it is a favorite time of year to reflect on life and relationships with gratitude. The holiday season is also a time when family drama can be at its height. Personal, cultural and sometimes political differences can surface at family gatherings that can turn them […]

What IS a Creator?

When David first learned about the Karpman Drama Triangle many years ago, he knew he had lived much of his life from this point of view.   One day in quiet time he asked:  “Okay God.  I don’t want to live my life as a victim anymore, but I need to know – what is the […]

Locus of Control

Stuff happens.  Life happens.  There really is not much we can do about it, other than “roll with the punches.” Or can we do something about it? That question is at the heart of the concept of “locus of control.” Encarta, the online dictionary, defines locus as “a place where something happens.”  When it comes […]

TED* is Not Another Hammer

Here is one sure-fire way to be perceived by another as a Persecutor: just point out that they are being a Victim. It’s a proven way to engage the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT)™! This is a point we always make in TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) ™ workshops. It also came up in a conversation we […]

Strength from Struggle

Being a Creator is not all “goodness and light.” We stress this reality in workshops all the time. There are times that creating outcomes and choosing our response to life experiences brings with it challenges and struggles (or that which we call Challengers). It is especially in those times that turning to someone, as a […]

You Are Not the Voice Inside Your Head

I am sure you have noticed the constant voice chattering inside your head. As I write this essay my (Donna’s) voice sounds like this: “David is traveling so it is my turn to write this week’s essay. Why did I wait until the last minute? Sometimes I write better when I have a deadline. No […]

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