Have you noticed how much our current culture spends an inordinate amount of time and energy on “blame-gaming?” Everywhere we look someone is blaming someone or something for what they don’t like or don’t want in their lives. This blame-gaming has reached epidemic proportions.
Blame-gaming is firmly rooted in and perpetuates the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT). It goes something like this: the Blamer takes on the role of Victim who then blames the person(s), condition or circumstance they appoint as the cause of what it is that they don’t want or like as the Persecutor. The Blamer/Victim then reacts by either turning to or calling for a Rescuer. They also may react (i.e. fight, flight, or freeze) in a way that they think or hope will relieve (rescue) them from the presence of the Persecutor.
One of the most recent examples revolves around President Barack Obama – specifically on health care reform; the disrespectful shouting as he addressed Congress on the issue; and charges that the shouter did so because of racism.
ANY form of “ism” fuels blame-gaming: racism; sexism; classism; ageism; political partyism; altermative lifestyleism; you-name-it-ism. The form that any “ism” takes is to blame “them” (whoever is seen as the cause – as the Persecutor) and to call for action (sometimes quite violent and vitriolic action) to get rid of the cause. The assumption is that if we can just get rid of; or neutralize; or contain “them,” then all would be right with the world.
But that very reaction and way of thinking only perpetuates the game. Why? Because the reaction that is taken will only engage “them” as the new Victim who then reacts to the Blamer as a Persecutor. And the drama continues… In the long run, blame-gaming is futile because the reacting that takes place can only perpetuate the cycle.
Like the computer (Joshua) in the 1983 movie “War Games” concludes after running all the scenarios in the a “game” of thermo nuclear war, “strange game, the only way to win is not to play.”
(OK… It is fair to point out that this entry blames the Blamer for initiating and perpetuating the cycle. A future post will focus on an alternative “game” that we can play that initiates and perpetuates TED* [*The Empowerment Dynamic]. What would you call such an alternative “game?”)