In the last two weeks most people who live in the Northern Hemisphere of the United States moved their clocks back one hour and came off of Daylight Savings Time. We forgot to change all of our clocks, which caused some confusion for us. Donna thought she was late for an appointment, only to discover she was almost an hour early.
It has been said that the main purpose of time is to keep everything from happening at once. Time is a human reality that is fundamental to the way we live as human beings. How we relate to time, though, is not always positive. Here are some of the common phrases used to describe time:
- Killing time
- Out of time
- Racing against time
- Wish there was more time
- A devil of a time
These descriptions of our relationship with time aren’t very empowering. Maybe that is why we seem to time travel in our minds, worrying about the future or obsessed with something that has happened in the past.
Your thoughts about the past may focus on your mistakes, what you feel you did wrong or what others have done to you. When you time travel to the past, if your memory is of a time you didn’t like, you will likely conjure up the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT)™.
You can also access the DDT when you time travel to the future. Fantasizing about winning the lottery may be a “hoped for” Rescuer from the financial woes you perceive as a Persecutor. Traveling to the future in your mind and worrying about what will go wrong is also common.
All we really have is the present moment, yet that seems so elusive for many of us.
We remember a participant in one of our online classes who shared that he thought his co-workers were persecuting him. His epiphany was that he was stressed about not having enough time to complete a project. During the class he became aware that he was relating to “time” as the Persecutor—not his co-workers.
Once he saw how victimized he was feeling by a lack of time, he stopped complaining and started being more present to the moment. As he did this, he relaxed, focused more on the project and very quickly his creativity and productivity went up. What he wanted was to be fully present to the moment and not worry about the future or past complaints. As he did, he moved out of the Victim role and created a whole new and more empowering relationship with his work—-in the present moment.
What is your relationship with time? Do you feel persecuted by time or a lack of it? Do you time travel and live more in the future or past?
Living in the moment is one of the most difficult challenges for we humans. As one client told Donna: “I am so worried about the future, I am missing the present experience with my children and those I love.” His new reflection became: “What do I love about the moment? What am I grateful for in the moment?”
Moving our clocks back and forth, adapting to Daylight Savings time, is a good reminder that clock time is a human creation. How we relate to time as a moment-to-moment experience is our choice. It’s time to make it an empowering one!