An experience of happiness often arises when we live in the empowered TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)™ roles of Creator, Challenger and Coach. Feeling joy can actually be distressing for some of us because there is a tendency to feel we don’t deserve this much happiness.
Modern living has created an expectation that we must always strive to improve or be better than our current situation. This pressure may cause us to distrust the joy and look for evidence that would disprove our happiness. In addition, like others of our age, we grew up with parents who were children during the Great Depression in the 1930’s and their experience “taught” them that things can always go from good to bad in a short period of time.
We might worry and wonder, raising questions in our minds: “When will the boss criticize my work?” or “Do I really deserve this much success?” or “This relationship is so good. When will it sour?” Fear, defensiveness, judgment and overly pleasing others are common fear-based strategies that fuel the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT)™ roles of Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer.
Such uneasiness with happiness acts as an internal Persecutor running in the background of our thoughts and prevents us from accepting the good that emerges as we live more consistently in the Empowerment Dynamic.
However, we can choose to create a life of happiness and joy.
We are not suggesting that living the TED* life will always create joy and happiness. We personally know this is not true. Feelings of well-being come and go. Stuff happens. However, we do know that empowered living can be enhanced the more we allow ourselves to recognize and be grateful when we feel good.
Even the slightest moments of feeling good benefit us. Maybe it is time spent gazing upon a beautiful flower, appreciating a job well-done or laughing with a smiling baby. Such moments increase sensations of joy and build momentum for even more happiness. They also prepare us to move more quickly through times of drama and suffering when they do occur.
As a Creator, the practice of telling the truth about current reality includes acknowledging moments of happiness and satisfaction. What we focus on tends to increase, so why not focus what’s going well in our lives and work?