When we resist seeing a situation as it really is (in the TED*™ work, we call this “telling the truth about current reality”), our focus is on blaming, wishing it were different, complaining and other forms of self-generated resistance to the situation. In other words, we feel victimized and make a problem out of the problem.
Consider this example about a typical work situation:
“Our team is moving and I do not like my new office. Now I have to move all my things, my plants will probably die and I don’t have the view I used to have. I don’t know the people on this floor and the entire work environment if so different. Now my favorite restaurant is too far away to have lunch. Gosh, I hate this!”
Do you feel the resistance in this person’s comments and how it is filled with self-pity and victim thinking? The energy of resistance is fueling every thought and action.
Now consider the same situation as the resistance is reduced:
“Okay, our team is moving. While there are many unknowns, I appreciate having a job and the new possibilities. I don’t know the people on this new floor. Hmmmm. I wonder who they are and what it will be like to work together. I am curious about this new situation and how it will develop.”
Working without resistance simply means accepting the situation as it is moment to moment. Problem solving is much more creative and possible if you are not spending energy resisting the facts of the situation.
Responding to what is allows you to move into the TED* roles of Creator, Challenger and Coach. In the everyday world of life and work, this isn’t always easy. It is part of the human experience to experience less than optimal life conditions.
But by just becoming aware of your resistance, the intensity of the resistance lets up. It loses its traction the moment you notice what is happening.
Observing your judgments and how you feel threatened by the situation will help reduce its hold on you. Not needing to resist life as it is, you can let go of struggle. Once you let go of resistance, the Creator in you can ask, “Given the situation as it is, how do I choose to respond?”