There’s a story about a man who calls a good friend to talk about his problems. After talking at length about his complaints, he stops and asks his friend, “Are you still listening to me? You haven’t said a word.” His friend says, “I’m trying not to. If you keep going, I might start believing […]
When driving an unfamiliar car, one of the first things you may do is adjust the mirrors, looking for the car’s blind spots. Like a car, your mind also has blind spots. The mind’s blind spots are a way of narrowing what you can take in. You can’t notice everything or you would be on […]
The month of July hosts over 25 Independence Day celebrations around the world. July 1st was Canada’s Independence Day and here in the US, July 4th was our Independence Day in the United States. While leaders strive to bring freedom to the outside world, it is freedom in your personal world that we write about this week. Freedom starts […]
In last week’s essay, we suggested a specific tip to interrupt your reactive, drama-filled behavior by “Naming 5 Red Things.” That tip was focused on how you can limit your drama. What about being with others when they are having a “drama attack?” What do you do? What do you say? We have several suggestions, but […]
It is often said that the words and phrases you use are an indication of what you believe about yourself. By listening to your language, you can increase your awareness of unconscious patterns of speech that may keep you stuck in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT). The good news is that once you hear your […]
We have been putting off writing this newsletter. Okay, that is supposed to be a joke and there are plenty of procrastination jokes out there. Did you hear about the procrastinators club that never met? Or about the author who planned a book on procrastination but never wrote it? For those who routinely procrastinate, the […]
There’s a fine line between being helpful and over-functioning. Once you slip into over-functioning mode, you don’t have a choice to act. Your craving to act becomes an urge, almost like an obsession. In this fast-paced world, many of us “over-do” and become vigilant about what might go wrong. As soon as we sense a […]
We have noticed that some days both of us can complain a lot. The complaints might be about everyday things, such as not sleeping well, we’re out of our favorite coffee, or bigger complaints about the state of the world. We have also noticed that every time we complain, there’s a little voice inside of […]
Picture this scene: You are rushing out the door from work heading to soccer practice to pick up your young daughter. Your boss catches you and says, “We really need your project report in the morning.” “Sure” you say, “it’s all but done. See you tomorrow,” and you keep running to your car. On the […]
Mistakes happen. They always have and always will, at least from time-to-time. Mistakes are part of the creating process and sometimes lead to breakthrough innovations. For example, a chef trying to make thin-sliced fried potatoes resulted in what we know as potato chips. A chemical scientist thought he had failed when his search for a […]