Drama is something that everyone experiences. Have you ever wondered why that is? Let’s start at the beginning and ask: How does our drama begin in the first place? The simple, yet complex, explanation is that all of us as human beings learn and develop strategies to get what we want as children and to […]
A few months ago, Donna returned from the grocery store with several bags of groceries in her car. David came out of their home to help her with the bags and she immediately declared, “Nope, I don’t need any help.” David went back into the house. Over the next few days Donna reflected upon why […]
Whether at the office or home, it is common to prematurely rush into problem solving mode rather than simply listening to the other person as they share their feelings. Communication experts describe several reasons why it is easier to rush to problem solving. They are: Being intellectual and rational is highly valued in the Western […]
Do you experience drama in your work and life? Do turf wars or ineffective team dynamics exist in your organization? We all experience some level of drama. It is part of the human experience. The costs of drama — both at work and personally — can be tremendous, as described in David’s new book, 3 […]
There’s a story about a man who calls a good friend to talk about his problems. After talking at length about his complaints, he stops and asks his friend, “Are you still listening to me? You haven’t said a word.” His friend says, “I’m trying not to. If you keep going, I might start believing […]
When driving an unfamiliar car, one of the first things you may do is adjust the mirrors, looking for the car’s blind spots. Like a car, your mind also has blind spots. The mind’s blind spots are a way of narrowing what you can take in. You can’t notice everything or you would be on […]
The month of July hosts over 25 Independence Day celebrations around the world. July 1st was Canada’s Independence Day and here in the US, July 4th was our Independence Day in the United States. While leaders strive to bring freedom to the outside world, it is freedom in your personal world that we write about this week. Freedom starts […]
In last week’s essay, we suggested a specific tip to interrupt your reactive, drama-filled behavior by “Naming 5 Red Things.” That tip was focused on how you can limit your drama. What about being with others when they are having a “drama attack?” What do you do? What do you say? We have several suggestions, but […]
It is often said that the words and phrases you use are an indication of what you believe about yourself. By listening to your language, you can increase your awareness of unconscious patterns of speech that may keep you stuck in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT). The good news is that once you hear your […]
We have been putting off writing this newsletter. Okay, that is supposed to be a joke and there are plenty of procrastination jokes out there. Did you hear about the procrastinators club that never met? Or about the author who planned a book on procrastination but never wrote it? For those who routinely procrastinate, the […]