Sometimes the smallest stimulus can irritate us and send us into a dizzying cycle of reactive, drama-filled behavior. We call a stimulus that impacts behavior a “trigger.” Triggers can be both positive and negative. An example of a positive trigger is smiling back at a smiling baby. However, it is the negative triggers that we […]
A friend recently said to us, “I am learning to have fewer reactive conversations and more healthy conversations.” What simple advice! The question arises, when you go reactive; how do you shift to a more creative and healthy conversation? We recommend hitting the pause button to lengthen the choice-point between when you might get triggered […]
In our last two essays, we wrote about how to shift from two of the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) roles to the TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)® roles: Victim to Creator and Rescuer to Coach. This week we tackle the third role shift: Persecutor to Challenger. Many people tell us they resist embracing the Challenger role […]
Last week we wrote about shifting from the Victim role that is central to the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) toward embracing the role of a Creator, that is at the heart of TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)®. This week we want to consider the shift from Rescuer to Coach. Let’s begin by understanding how the DDT […]
When David first learned about the Karpman Drama Triangle and its roles of Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer many years ago, he knew he had lived much of his life from a Victim point of view. One day in quiet time he asked: “Okay God. I don’t want to live my life as a Victim anymore, […]
If there is one core principle in which the Power of TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)® work rests, it is this: You always have a choice about how you respond to life events. You may not like your choices, and your range of choices may be narrow. However, you always have a choice. How you choose […]
How do your creative thoughts become reality? How do you move beyond procrastinating and get into action? For an idea to grow beyond just a thought stuck in your head, you must get into action. Many people never get their great ideas out of their brains and into external reality. For an idea to grow […]
For those who routinely put things off to another day, procrastination jokes are not funny. (You’ve heard the one about the author who planned to write a book about procrastinating but never got around to writing it). We all delay getting things done from time to time, but people who habitually procrastinate tend to be […]
Here in the United States, the summer mega-hit movies are coming out. There are more hero-action films than ever, including sequels starring just about every action figure ever created. When looking at the list of movies, we were reminded of the phrase we heard from a spiritual teacher. He said: “One way to stop life’s […]
Solving a problem works really well when you need specific information. If your computer isn’t working, you need concrete information about how to get it working again. If you have the wrong address for an appointment, that’s a problem. You need the correct address. Life and relationships are far more complex, however, than just fixing […]