A few weeks ago, we heard from a longtime friend and colleague who has used the Power of TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)® and 3 Vital Questions® frameworks for many years in her work as a public leader in her community. We are delighted to share the following story she shared with us as an example […]
One of the easiest ways to shift out of drama is to look for more mind-blowing, awe-inspiring experiences each day. The spine-tingling feeling of awe connects us with something bigger than ourselves. When we’re in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) our focus is on “me” rather than “we” and the world around us. It is […]
There’s a story about a man who calls a good friend to talk about his problems. After talking at length about his complaints, he stops and asks his friend, “Are you still listening to me? You haven’t said a word.” His friend says, “I’m trying not to. If you keep going, I might start believing […]
When driving an unfamiliar car, one of the first things you may do is adjust the mirrors, looking for the car’s blind spots. Like a car, your mind also has blind spots. The mind’s blind spots are a way of narrowing what you can take in. You can’t notice everything or you would be on […]
We were recently on a telephone call with a colleague, talking about a project we are working on together. At the end of the call our colleague said, “I will have the project summary to you by the end of the week.” His voice became stressed as he talked about all he needed to get […]
In last week’s essay, we suggested a specific tip to interrupt your reactive, drama-filled behavior by “Naming 5 Red Things.” That tip was focused on how you can limit your drama. What about being with others when they are having a “drama attack?” What do you do? What do you say? We have several suggestions, but […]
We are often asked, “How do I get out of the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT)?” We avoid offering a prescribed answer to that question because each person is unique, and the situations are often too complex. Your neurology and body are designed to constantly be scanning for threats, so it is on the lookout for […]
The Persecutor role in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) uses control and domination to take charge of a situation. Persecutors may show up in our lives as people, or they may also be conditions (such as a health issue) or situations, (such as a natural disaster). Regardless of the form, the Persecutor dominates the time […]
There’s a fine line between being helpful and over-functioning. Once you slip into over-functioning mode, you don’t have a choice to act. Your craving to act becomes an urge, almost like an obsession. In this fast-paced world, many of us “over-do” and become vigilant about what might go wrong. As soon as we sense a […]
A client called us a few weeks ago to share that his company was being bought by another company. While the news was good in various ways, many of his staff were caught off guard and were naturally feeling victimized by the sudden news. He wanted additional support for his staff during the transition and […]