In last week’s essay, we suggested a specific tip to interrupt your reactive, drama-filled behavior by “Naming 5 Red Things.” That tip was focused on how you can limit your drama. What about being with others when they are having a “drama attack?” What do you do? What do you say? We have several suggestions, but […]
We are often asked, “How do I get out of the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT)?” We avoid offering a prescribed answer to that question because each person is unique, and the situations are often too complex. Your neurology and body are designed to constantly be scanning for threats, so it is on the lookout for […]
The Persecutor role in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) uses control and domination to take charge of a situation. Persecutors may show up in our lives as people, or they may also be conditions (such as a health issue) or situations, (such as a natural disaster). Regardless of the form, the Persecutor dominates the time […]
There’s a fine line between being helpful and over-functioning. Once you slip into over-functioning mode, you don’t have a choice to act. Your craving to act becomes an urge, almost like an obsession. In this fast-paced world, many of us “over-do” and become vigilant about what might go wrong. As soon as we sense a […]
A client called us a few weeks ago to share that his company was being bought by another company. While the news was good in various ways, many of his staff were caught off guard and were naturally feeling victimized by the sudden news. He wanted additional support for his staff during the transition and […]
Picture this scene: You are rushing out the door from work heading to soccer practice to pick up your young daughter. Your boss catches you and says, “We really need your project report in the morning.” “Sure” you say, “it’s all but done. See you tomorrow,” and you keep running to your car. On the […]
Wouldn’t it be great if we could just snap our fingers and all that we don’t like about other people would suddenly change? But, you need to know, while you are snapping your fingers, other people may be snapping theirs trying to make you change! Most of us spend time trying to figure out how […]
We humans need some stress in our lives to keep us motivated and moving forward. Too much stress, however, and we go head-first into drama and overwhelm. It is possible to arrive at a balance between excitement and overwhelm—what we call your “stress sweet spot.” If stress is too low and doesn’t cause a reaction, […]
Recovering from the “eager-to-please” syndrome that is deeply rooted in the Rescuer role of the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT), can be a challenge. When being the Rescuer is your “go to” role in the DDT, you easily take on being helpful and pleasing to others as a self-identify. Your focus is on the needs of […]
We all have responsibilities and obligations. It is part of being in relationships with family, co-workers, neighbors, and life. Donna shares a story about one morning – years ago as a full-time working mom, wife and mother with 3 children – when she woke up and realized she wasn’t responsible for the sun rising that […]