Do you work 24/7?   In the last few years the world has sped up to a lightening pace.  There is evidence that checking emails has become serious addictive behavior for some.  We have even gotten calls from librarians who tell us citizens come into their libraries feeling victimized by too much information.

Most of our parents and grandparents went home satisfied that their work day was complete.  Today, many people feel anxious because their work is rarely complete.   To manage their anxiety, they work harder and longer hours to keep-up, which creates more exhaustion and an inability to focus and retain information.

Talk about Drama!

If this sounds like a pattern you have adopted, we challenge you to create your “stop-doing” list.  What is on that list is just as important as what is on your “to do” list.

If you face the fact that in today’s work world “the work is never done,” then creating your stop-doing list causes you to determine what matters most to you.  Two of the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) ™ roles are especially prone to having a long to do list and may be especially resistant to making a stop doing list.

As recovering Rescuers, we find it difficult sometimes to let go and stop doing.  Rescuers have a habit of jumping in and wanting to help rescue or fix a situation.  By being overly helpful, rescuers believe they will be seen and loved.   For a Rescuer, there’s no end to their to do list!

Persecutors need to control the situation and tend to feel their way is the right way.  Given that point of view, Persecutors may micro-manage when they could delegate or invite others to participate. Consequently, Persecutors often have long to do lists and work overtime to keep everything under control.

It takes self-awareness and courage to see the underlying assumptions that may be driving your need to work so hard.  We feel this is one of the great challenges of our modern times.  Here is a process we recommend to create your stop doing list.

  • First, tell yourself the truth — you will never get everything done.
  • Second, make a general list of the areas in your life that matter most to you.
  • Third, make a brief list of those things you do that are not aligned with what matters most to you.
  • Fourth, pick one or two items from the third step that you are committed to stop doing.

A vital discipline of living as a Creator is to align what is on the “to do” list with what matters most – what holds heart and meaning and engages your passion – and to “stop doing” what does not serve your envisioned outcomes.

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