This is another guest blog from TED*-fan, David Dadian:
I was out recently with my wonderful friend from high school days, Camille.
We dove into a discussion of the drama she had endured over the past few weeks. As we were discussing the events and how she felt persecuted and victimized, Camille made the statement, “AllI could do afterwards was laugh!” Camille has become quite the expert in recognizing the Dreaded Drama Triangle, and the Victim and Creator orientations. What we both realized as she made that statement was that laughter was her catalyst to shift back into the Creator Orientation and, in this particular situation, into the Challenger role.
There are many factors and emotions that can propagate shift happening and laughter may just be one of the most important. There are many published scientific studies on the power of laughter. However, how does one find the humor in being a Victim, Persecutor or Rescuer? After all there are a wide range of emotions that one must deal with in any of these roles.
So how do you find the ability to laugh off circumstances in the Victim Orientation and begin the shift?
Perhaps my father’s guidance many years ago holds part of or all of the answer to this question. He would always say “take it from its source”! Even in utilizing this wisdom, it is important to note that FISBE (Focus, Inner State, and Behavior) needs to be engaged.
FISBE is the “flux capacitor, or oscillation over-thruster” if you will It must be engaged in order to make that jump to the Creator Orientation! But – and it is a big but – there must be a catalyst (be it anger, fear, anxiety, hurt, laughter) to initiate the engagement of FISBE. This is a fine line we walk. In Camille’s case it was laughter. Laughter allowed her to check her Inner State, make the necessary adjustments to affect her BEehavior which provided her with the ability to Focus on what was truly important, her desired outcome.
As we enter the holiday season, for many the stresses and strains – whether from family, work or societal expectations – can easily pull them into the DDT. The use of laughter, along with the shifting of focus to what we want and appreciate, is a great way to make “shift happen.”
Thanks David Dadian and Happy Thanksgiving to all who are celebrating it tomorrow!