The feeling of desire is tricky.    On one hand, desire generates passion and helps you create what you really care about.  On the other hand, if you obsess about something you want, your desire can become an attachment or even have an addictive quality that screams:  “I have to have it now.”

Desire can pull you forward toward what you want and root you in (TED*) The Empowerment Dynamic® or it can push you into the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) by feeling victimized by your wanting.

Learning to recognize the subtle seduction of desire is essential so that you can leverage it to choose what you want and avoid being controlled by craving and wanting.

Try this experiment:  Think of something you really like or want and set it in front of you on your dining room table.  It might be a picture of new car, someone playing golf, an afternoon latte, or checking your Facebook page.  (For Donna, that would be a delicious piece of dark chocolate.)

As you sit at the table looking at the object, observe the desire arising in you.    What is it like for you to sit still, observe the object of your desire, and not allow yourself to have it?  Do you notice sensations in your chest or stomach area?  Where in your body to you feel the urge of desire?  Hold your attention on the object of your desire for several minutes so you recognize how powerful the urge can feel.

Our recommendation is to appreciate how difficult it is for all human beings to want something and not allow the wanting to persecute you.  Also notice if your thinking becomes: “Holding the tension of this urge is uncomfortable.  If I can just get this ‘thing,’ it will rescue me from my uncomfortable feelings.”

The paradox of desire is that it can empower and enrich your life and desire can also lead you into suffering and ego-centric wanting.

At the heart of desire is wanting something you don’t have now.  The question becomes: “Is my wanting based on an intention to fill me up and compensate for my inadequacy?” If so, you are reinforcing the thinking that you will only be happy if you have something in the future that you don’t have today.  The result is you will feel insufficient today and cling to the future desire as your Rescuer.  We call this state of being the drama of desire.

The secret to happiness and empowerment is deep awareness that there is something you desire, and it is not linked to your intrinsic knowledge of who you are today as a Creator.  This “desire thinking” is not you.  It is an object that sounds pleasing and pleasant to you.

The opposite of the drama of desire is abundance thinking – knowing that today (not sometime in the future when you have this “thing”) you are already basking in your Creator essence.  Knowing the truth that your innate essence is built in the human design (without needing or obsessing about future desires) is an enormous relief.

With this understanding of the truth of who you are, your desires can be revealed without clinging or attaching to them to fill you up.

There is wisdom in understanding the two faces of desire.  Desire can be a friend to the Creator and a foe to the Victim.  As you appreciate this delicate balance, be mindful of whether your desire is contributing to growth and creating, or the drama of desire.