Cultivating TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic) in our relationships with others calls us to develop one of life’s “easier said than done” perspectives: seeing everyone we encounter as a Creator. The roles of Creator, Challenger and Coach are all centered in the acknowledgement that everyone has the capacity to choose their response to their circumstances and envision and choose outcomes to create in their lives.
Relating to others as a Creator is relatively easy when they, too, are seeking to live their lives more consistently from a Creator Orientation and, perhaps, share the language and frameworks of TED*. But, what if someone you encounter is playing one or more of the roles of Victim, Persecutor or Rescuer, which make up the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) ? Even worse, what if the other is being a “jerk?” How do we see the other then? That’s the “test!”
First and foremost, in situations like that, we can see the other as a Challenger to ourselves to hone our own ability as a Creator to see the Creator in them. It also is a great opportunity to practice compassion.
They may not see themselves as a Creator. It may not be possible or even appropriate for to explicitly call attention to their capacity to be a Creator. But as a Creator yourself, you have the ability to choose to respond to them in that moment as one Creator interacting with another.
Even if they act as a Victim, they are a Creator. Even if they act as a Rescuer, they are a Creator. Even if they act as a Persecutor, they are a Creator. The more you make this a conscious practice, the more you will find that they respond to you in kind – eventually!