When driving an unfamiliar car, one of the first things you may do is adjust the mirrors, looking for the car’s blind spots. Like a car, your mind also has blind spots. The mind’s blind spots are a way of narrowing what you can take in. You can’t notice everything or you would be on […]
In last week’s essay, we suggested a specific tip to interrupt your reactive, drama-filled behavior by “Naming 5 Red Things.” That tip was focused on how you can limit your drama. What about being with others when they are having a “drama attack?” What do you do? What do you say? We have several suggestions, but […]
The Persecutor role in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) uses control and domination to take charge of a situation. Persecutors may show up in our lives as people, or they may also be conditions (such as a health issue) or situations, (such as a natural disaster). Regardless of the form, the Persecutor dominates the time […]
We have been putting off writing this newsletter. Okay, that is supposed to be a joke and there are plenty of procrastination jokes out there. Did you hear about the procrastinators club that never met? Or about the author who planned a book on procrastination but never wrote it? For those who routinely procrastinate, the […]
There’s a fine line between being helpful and over-functioning. Once you slip into over-functioning mode, you don’t have a choice to act. Your craving to act becomes an urge, almost like an obsession. In this fast-paced world, many of us “over-do” and become vigilant about what might go wrong. As soon as we sense a […]
We have noticed that some days both of us can complain a lot. The complaints might be about everyday things, such as not sleeping well, we’re out of our favorite coffee, or bigger complaints about the state of the world. We have also noticed that every time we complain, there’s a little voice inside of […]
Picture this scene: You are rushing out the door from work heading to soccer practice to pick up your young daughter. Your boss catches you and says, “We really need your project report in the morning.” “Sure” you say, “it’s all but done. See you tomorrow,” and you keep running to your car. On the […]
Mistakes happen. They always have and always will, at least from time-to-time. Mistakes are part of the creating process and sometimes lead to breakthrough innovations. For example, a chef trying to make thin-sliced fried potatoes resulted in what we know as potato chips. A chemical scientist thought he had failed when his search for a […]
Recovering from the “eager-to-please” syndrome that is deeply rooted in the Rescuer role of the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT), can be a challenge. When being the Rescuer is your “go to” role in the DDT, you easily take on being helpful and pleasing to others as a self-identify. Your focus is on the needs of […]
We all have responsibilities and obligations. It is part of being in relationships with family, co-workers, neighbors, and life. Donna shares a story about one morning – years ago as a full-time working mom, wife and mother with 3 children – when she woke up and realized she wasn’t responsible for the sun rising that […]