As young school children, we are taught to ask the teacher for support and receive feedback to help us learn. That feedback was often in the form of a grade that we interpreted as either good or bad. As adults, giving feedback to one another can evoke a strong defensive reaction. We know this defensive […]
It may sound like a lot to accept the idea of welcoming all your emotions. It’s great to feel happy and joyful, but how about the uncomfortable emotions like anger, sadness, and frustration? For most of us, it is not easy to be comfortable with these heavier emotions. With the pandemic and disruptions everywhere, you […]
One of the faster ways to put yourself into a drama relationship with yourself and others is to pretend you know something when you don’t. If you pretend you know how to fix your computer after it crashes, rather than ask for help from a computer professional, you will only cause yourself frustration. Pretending you […]
When your car is low on gas, you don’t beat on its dashboard and tell it to keep going. You acknowledge it is low on fuel and fill its gas tank (or for an electric car, you recharge it). You don’t call your cell phone selfish for having little juice left in its battery. Instead, […]
Have you ever experienced someone driving recklessly on the freeway, changing lanes, and almost causing an accident? We have and admit to hoping there’s a highway patrol officer around the bend, ready to turn their siren on and issue a costly speeding ticket. We call our desire to see a police officer stop the careless […]
The simple act of asking for support or help can become a huge issue for anyone stuck in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT). As recovering Rescuers, we (David & Donna) have both struggled with asking for help at times. When we are stuck in the Rescuer role, we believe our job is to help others […]
A few years ago, I (Donna) took a cross-country trip with my three adult children. The last night of our trip, my son enjoyed a night out with friends, feasting on hot wings and a few beverages. As the family headed to the airport early the next morning, it was obvious that he had a […]
There is a leadership story that illustrates being trapped in repetitive tasks. The story goes like this: There was a hermit who would cut enough wood each summer to heat his forest cabin through the winter. One day, he heard on his shortwave radio that an early winter storm was heading his way. He rushed […]
Working with people stuck in a Victim Mindset can be exhausting and infuriating. When they have a problem, they often prefer to complain or blame, rather than focus on a solution. They cope with life by thinking there is some force outside of them that prevents them from taking charge of their life. We are not writing […]
We humans are masterful at working with the tension that leads to creating amazing new ideas and breakthrough innovations. We are also very good at creating our own tension and stress that leads to overwhelm. In both situations, this tension leads to either action—or reaction. A simple, yet profound way to take action, even in […]