A client recently shared his new awareness that he unconsciously “lives” in the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT)™. He is a high-level executive who had just learned about the DDT and the positive alternative TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)® roles and asked for some coaching about how to apply the two triangles in his life. The epiphany […]
In the 1960’s Dr. Stephen Karpman first described the three reactive and problem-focused roles of Victim, Persecutor and Rescuer that he named the Drama Triangle. One role—-that of Rescuer—-is especially familiar to us. We often say that we are both “recovering Rescuers.” The Rescuer role is the “pain reliever” in the Drama Triangle and focuses […]
Donna recently took a cross-country trip with her three adult children. The last night of their trip, her son enjoyed a night out with friends, feasting on hot wings and a few beverages. As the family headed to the airport early the next morning, it was obvious that Donna’s son had a painful bout of […]
We know of a lady who desperately wanted to learn to snow ski. Her family loved skiing and she felt left-out because of her fear of skiing. Finally, one winter day, she traveled to a nearby skip slope to give it a try. She had taken lessons over the years and knew a little […]
Donna shares a story about one morning – years ago as a full-time working mom and wife with 3 children – when she woke up and realized she wasn’t responsible for the sun rising that morning. While she can laugh about it now, it was a very serious moment in her early adult years. Intellectually, […]
After an upsetting conversation, do you ever look back and say to yourself, “I wish I hadn’t said that?” Or maybe you regret taking charge of a situation when it really wasn’t your place to intervene. Later you wish you had thought before you made suggestions or took charge. We all do this at times […]
At the bottom of one of our handouts for our TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic)™ workshop is a box that highlights this point: “We cannot force others to make ‘shift happen’ in their own lives!” After all these years, it still surprises us to hear the collective groan from participants when they read that quote. Of […]
After our essay last week, entitled “Exaggerated Sense of Responsibility,” we had a few questions and this week we are delighted to respond to one reader’s inquiry. Dear David and Donna, Your newsletter last week was about Exaggerated Sense of Responsibility. You wrote about the persecuting role, but isn’t an exaggerated sense of responsibility more […]
Donna shares a story about one morning – years ago as a full-time working mom and wife with 3 children – when she woke up and realized she wasn’t responsible for the sun rising that morning. While she can laugh about it now, it was a very serious moment in her early adult years. Intellectually, […]