Victim – The Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT)
The Victim is the central role of the Dreaded Drama Triangle and is the toxic sister to the Creator role found in TED* (*The Empowerment Dynamic). Victims feel powerless and at the mercy of life’s events and may avoid taking responsibility for their actions, finding it easier to blame others or their circumstances.
The desire to be happy and live a fulfilled life is central to human nature. When challenges arise, the ego wants to minimize or manage the pain caused by not having life go as it wishes. For the person with a victim mentality, wanting their situation to be different than it is causes perpetual suffering. This suffering is the heart of the victim mentality and belief that they will never have what they want. Consequently Victims have difficulty answering the question of “What do I want?” and would often feel the only option is to sit on the sideline of life, criticizing and complaining. The main focus for the person who is operating from a Victim Orientation is on what they don’t want or don’t like.
It is common to feel anger and resistance from Victims. They are unhappy with life’s circumstances and, because they feel powerless, they can be full of self-pity. Hopelessness is a prevalent inner state. These feelings can create a strange sense of entitlement to what they don’t have. They can seek sympathy by telling exaggerated stories about their pain of bad deeds they committed toward others. Their criticism of others can turn inward and they can become their own worst persecutor.
Victimization and Victimhood – A Critical Difference
The above descriptions pertain to those individuals who often adopt a Victim stance in the world and, therefore, have taken on the “identity” of Victimhood. That is different that victimization, which we all experience as human beings from time-to-time. TED* and the Creator role stands as a Challenger to Victimhood, without denying the reality of victimization.