When David first learned about the Karpman Drama Triangle many years ago, he knew he had lived much of his life from this point of view. One day in quiet time he asked: “Okay God. I don’t want to live my life as a victim anymore, but I need to know – what is the opposite of being a Victim?” “Creator” was the immediate response he received. He had no idea what his personal epiphany of the shift from Victim to Creator would grow into in the years to come.
As the TED* framework has evolved, the Creator role has continued to be central to this work. It speaks to a powerful shift in self-image. As Richard Rohr writes, “You move from the false self to the true self.“
This is a seismic shift, make no mistake about it. The ground beneath your feet may feel like it is moving. It is quite unsettling at first and, gradually, you will learn to love your new way of being. This is available to everyone, at any time, if they choose to see themselves and others as Creators.
What is a Creator, and, how would we know if we embody the Creator role?
Creators have learned to take full responsibility for their response to life’s events. In doing so, a Creator works toward desired outcomes and chooses how to deal with the human experience resourcefully and choicefully, instead of reacting. Rather than explain, minimize or catastrophize life’s events, Creators surrender to “what is” and drop resistance in the moment. Creators focus on what they want rather than what they don’t want, regardless of circumstances.
This stance in life allows Creators to experience the awe of living—the spiritual and sacred state of joy, happiness and wonder. Creators are calm, since they are not reacting, and trust the mystery of how their life will unfold. Learning to go deeper and discover what is driving their wants and desires is essential for the Creator to remain true to their values and dreams. This requires taking the time for reflection, which cultivates a Creator’s ability to feel safe and strong enough to choose what they want, even in the face of difficult situations.
Creators also understand that everything is constantly changing, therefore they do not attach themselves to a certain outcome or “right” way. Because life is constantly changing, Creators learn to ask different questions at different times: “What do I want in this stage of my life?” and “Where must I take responsibility, given the situation?”
Once you embody the Creator role, you have engaged TED*(* The Empowerment Dynamic)™— and the roles of Challenger and Coach become your new companions. Over the next few weeks we will write about the qualities of the Challenger and Coach. For now, practice observing disempowering thoughts and, when they arise, shift your focus and awareness toward your true Creator self – and choose what is next.