Like a lot of people my age, someone very close to me is facing the realities aging parents and end-of-life issues.  These Challengers will eventually come to each of us.

In this case, the father is bedridden and under hospice care.  For months, his wife was primary care giver – even after Hospice became involved – and attended to him with love, rarely leaving him. It was/is a classic aging and end-of-life Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT) scenario.

He is Victim to the Persecutor condition causing his decline.  She played the role of Rescuer, in ways both reasonable and appropriate to the situation at hand.

Then the unimaginable happened: she ended up in the hospital herself with an initial diagnosis of being confined for 4-6 weeks. Everyone became naturally concerned.

What happens when the Rescuer goes away?

Several of us had the same thought: he will either step up or give up.  To step up would be to give his best to assume a Creator stance and choose his response to the situation.  On the other hand, it would be all-too-easy to give up and succumb even more deeply to the real physical victimization he faces.

The good news is that he stepped up, began eating and gained strength.  It is a bittersweet turn of events, for he still faces the end-of-life realities and is still bedridden.

However, it has been a real-life “case study” of what happens when the Rescuer goes away – the Victim will either step, give up or look for another Rescuer.


Please follow and like us: